How a Boomer's Legs Survive LONG flights!

My husband and I travel like fiends; cars, planes, trains, trams, donkeys, cruise ships -- we don't care, so long as we get where we are going.

In relative comfort. In economy class. We've only ridden first class a couple of times by default (wish we could do that all the time). But relative comfort and economy class, on an airplane, are barely kissing cousins. Especially on very long flights. And especially when it comes to swollen legs.

My first experience with a long flight and subsequent discomfort came during a flight from Canada to Greece. I got off the plane in Athens, looked down at my legs, and swooned at the sight of the stumps sticking out below my skirt hem. My ankles were as thick as a fence post and my feet barely fit into my shoes (luckily I had a pair of open sandals with me).

What's worse is that it took 5 days for the swelling to go down. I thought my flying days were forever over, but 85 pounds later (lost it), some Internet research, and a little pre-planning, means I now fly at will, with only minor swelling.

There are many helpful sites on the Net offering pretty much the same advice: drink water, walk around, elevate legs -- you know the drill. All are very similar to this article from the Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/foot-swelling/HQ00722

The problem is that in longer flights, there is only so much walking you can do before the other passengers, and in particular, the flight attendants, get ticked off with your ramblings. And as to elevating your feet, well, I find the passengers in the seat ahead of me are rather put-off by my socked feet in their ear.

But really, where does an average size (well, okay, slightly more than average size) woman elevate her feet -- within the confines of an airplane seat in economy class?

As to water, we can't bring our own anymore, and if you weren't lucky enough to buy a bottle in the "safe" zone of your gate area, then you are at the mercy of your flight attendant, your rather stingy, pouty, miffed-because-you-asked-for-too-much service, flight attendant.

Here's my in-flight survival strategy:

1. First, detox your body for at least a day drinking only water with fresh-squeezed lemon juice added. If you can do this for 2 days, it's even better. No sense boarding the plane, already loaded with toxins.
   
   
2. Buy a miniature hard-walled picnic cooler with a handle. I found one by Igloo. It cost me a whole 50 cents at a garage sale. It measures a compact 11 inches X 7 inches X 6.5 inches high. It is solid and can carry other necessities like wet wipes, Nintendo games, notebook, pen, and allowable snacking foods, like nuts. I added a strap to the hard plastic handle so that it can be worn on my shoulder if necessary.
   
   The beauty of this high tech device is that it resolves the real issue of swelling legs and that is pressure on the under-thigh area. For my height and leg length, the little cooler provides the perfect relief.
   
   And what's more, when you get to your destination, especially if you get around by car, and you like quick impromptu picnics, you'll have the perfect little cooler.
   
   Besides, carrying it when boarding your plane, will make you look more important, like you are transporting human organs. Well, except if you inscribed your name on the outside in wide-tipped black felt pen, like I did. Makes me look like I am mentally-challenged. Oh, well.
   


3. As soon as I get on the plane, I make sure I have the things I will need for take-off like the official "I'm-so-bored-right-now-I-could-eat-snot" items like a puzzle book, pen, paperback, magazine, journal, newspaper, (forget the electronic devices -- the Nintendo and the Palm Pilot -- you know they'll interfere with the plane's navigational system and crash the plane -- you know that, right? Sheesh!)
   
   
4. I always travel with a squishy (tiny bead thingy) horseshoe pillow for my neck. If I don't have one with me, I scavenge the overhead bins for a pillow or two. (Don't expect a flight attendant to get a pillow for you, let alone offer you this 25 cent luxury item. The last time I had the audacity to ask, I felt like I was asking for her first-born child, and a voluntary donation of her husband's sperm.)
   


5. As soon as you sit down, remove your shoes. Take off any tight socks and replace those with a soft fleece pair, or a special pair of long hose sold in Wal-Mart for diabetics. I am not talking about those miserable black leg girdles that necessitate the aid of a second person to get them up your calves; those are just nasty. No-no, I am talking about the long, white, soft, slightly stretchy socks sold to diabetics.
   


6. Oh, you never take a window seat. Only an aisle seat (if alone), or a middle seat (if your flying partner has the aisle seat). Who cares how many times you clamber over him or her when it's time to shake a leg; they are already used to your shenanigans; a stranger isn't so forgiving.
   
   
7. In flight, the very instant that seat belt light goes off, I undo my belt and get into any position other than a straight sitting-up position: One leg curled beneath, both feet on the cooler, both legs hooked over my husband's arm (he is very forgiving). When sitting normally, be sure to put a pillow or a rolled jacket under your thighs. This helps, too. But the best is still propping your feet on the cooler.
   
   
8. As the flight progresses, I ask for (and drink) all the water I can get my hands on. Thirsty or not, water is magic. You will pee like a pony, but your system will continually clear of toxins, and you'll have to walk to the bathroom.
   
   If you are on a flight, with a really lazy flight crew, then go get your own water. They usually have a pitcher in the galley, with plastic cups. I think, in my case, the bleery-eyed flight person, was actually grateful that I took care of this need by myself.
   
   
9. Bathroom visits. I choose a time when the bathrooms are not busy. That way I can take my time, stretching, washing, and just generally have some space to myself. In addition, this is when I take care of dry sinuses. I run warm water into my hand, and then gently inhale. No, not enough to drown yourself, just enough to dampen your nostril linings. This really works well. No need for special spray bottles.
   
   
10. Walking and stretching. I have actually had some flight attendants "suggest" I should return to my seat, for no other reason, than because she said I should. Let me make one thing perfectly clear -- I am 1/2 a century old! No young whipper-snapper is going to tell me I can't walk and stretch. When the plane starts doing jelly rolls, believe me, I'll be happy to go back to my seat. Where I'll be nice and safe, in my seat belt, as we plummet into the great blue sea. Sheesh!
    
    
11. Eating. Avoid garbage foods. Opt only for whole foods like grains, nuts, and vegetables. Load up your body with the highly-processed white sugars and flours, and you will be loading yourself with toxins, toxins that will happily nestle in around your ankles.
    

And that's it -- that's how I survive long flights, how I arrive after many hours in the air with my legs nearly normal in size. My next long flight is a doozy - Calgary, Alberta to Auckland, New Zealand.

http://www.visualsbysheree.com/Australia%20&%20New%20Zealand%202008.htm

Cheers,
Sheree