Great urgency leads up to the grand elimination (and the Academy Awards show is an elimination event -- just ask the losers), there's no telling how much time it's actually going to take to complete said event, and then finally the highly popular event draws to a close. Flush!
And that's it for another year, or bowel movement. But I admit it, I like going to the bathroom nearly as much as I like watching the Oscars.
I often wonder what it would be like to be a public participant in this self-aggrandizing Hollywood hoopla. But then again, do I really want to go to all the trouble?
Um, my couch will do for now. Why sit in the rain when I can sit in a warm dry house instead, where I can even vote on the newest Dove commercial (sheesh!).
Here's my take on last night:
The 80th Academy Awards highlights:
The Host: Okay, I was a little skeptical on Jon Stewart as host, but he was okay. Stewart was suave, smooth, easy-on-the-eyes, and he was funny. His Hilary Clinton joke was spot on. And I loved when he brought back one of the young foreign Oscar winners whose acceptance speech was cut short. Classy move, Jon!
The Show: The 80th Oscars seemed to be a cleaner, firmer version when held up against the mirror of past years. Maybe writers should go on strike more often. The musical numbers were kind of blah, but there were some cute unexpected bits of entertainment like John Travolta dancing his way onto the stage, and the spoof with the two look-alike guys (can't remember there names) filling in for Halle Berry and Dame Judi Dench (refreshing and funny).
The Red Carpet: Officially, the red carpet is not part of the Oscars show, but it's a must-see pre-show. It can be a dull stupid affair, with stupid questions, and even stupider and bored answers. But an unexpected dance between Ryan Seacrest, Jennifer Garner, and Gary Busey added a touch of spice and total bizarre-ness to the event.
What was up with Busey? I was as grossed out as Garner. Someone needs to take Busey aside and give him lessons on proper starlet and has-been etiquette. No kissing on the neck, Busey, especially married starlet mothers. I can only imagine what hubby, Ben Afleck, had to say.
The Winners: Kudos to Marion Cotillard, Daniel Day-Lewis, Javier Bardem, and the shorter Cohen brother; his "I have nothing to add to my first speech" speech was very funny. His brother had spoken so long, that the short brother was only able to say, "Thanks," before the get-off-the-stage music came up.
Tilda Swinton (Best Supporting Actress) would get my nod, too, but that speech was just plain weird. Did she want that Oscar or not? And will she really give it to her American agent for his birthday?
The Losers: Laura Linney, what a doll, so gracious, even in loss. Viggo Mortensen, on the other hand, resorted a bit to his hardened Eastern Promises character -- displeasure clouded his face.
The Memorable Moments:
Here they are in no particular order:
- John Travolta's hair. Is it just me? Or did John look like a 60s Ken doll?
- Daniel Day-Lewis's escort. If that dress had been any more loaded with crystal flowers, she would have needed more than those little red bows to hold it up. Weird design.
- Tilda Swinton's hair. Whoa, I understood that red was the color of the day. But talk about a flaming shock of red hair.
- Tilda Swinton's weird acceptance speech. Did we really need to know that her agent's buttocks matched Oscar's butt? And how does she know what her agent's bum looks like anyway?
- Daniel Day-Lewis. What an "ACTOR" thing to do, kneel before the pseudo Queen (Helen Mirren) for a good dubbing. Cute, Daniel.
- Marion Cotillard. I could hear the sound bites being cut across the world when she thanked the "angels" in Los Angeles for her award.
- Ditto for Javier Bardem. Perfect sound bite when he mentioned his character's "horrible haircut."
- Oh and lastly, Gary Busey. I suspect, if you check out YouTube.com, Gary's antics will be the subject of several videos. Poor fellow.
That's it, the Oscars are over for another year.
Flush!
